I don’t buy into the ‘new year, new me’ cliché but I do like to look at the start of a new year as a clean slate – a chance to say goodbye to anything that’s holding me back and to refocus myself on what I want.
As well as being physically healthier, saving money, travelling to XYZ place and so on, the common new year’s resolution trap we all seem to fall into centres around the search for love. So much so that the data is there to prove it.
January 5th is historically the busiest day for dating app downloads, seeing a plethora of singles reaching for their phones with the hope that this year will be the year – a fresh start at love. According to Hinge (my nemesis!), January also has 53% more dates than any other month of the year.
I fell into the trap. I redownloaded the apps and got swiping only to find the results very much the same as they were when I left them back in 2022: sorely disappointing. But as with all new year’s resolutions, consistency is key.
So, whilst I can’t promise I’ll be on the apps for a long time, I’m certainly going to give it an old-fashioned try. And if the apps aren’t going to change, then I have to. This year I’m trying my best to let go of unhealthy dating habits which I fear is easier said than done.
Hope Flynn is the co-founder of female self-empowerment platform, Feed Me Female. The platform features dating experts and modern-day agony aunts and provides content for leading sexual wellness and dating brands, including IPlaySafe (a new sexual wellness brand and medical app created to encourage better awareness around sexual health and STIs) and Bumble.
Hope recently shared some hard truths with me, including dating advice people don’t want to hear. The advice that stood out to me was about recognising that sometimes, maybe *you* are the problem.
“Recognizing your own faults can be hard and it can be easier to play the blame game, but dating and relationships are a two-way street. It’s time to get honest with yourself and ask yourself questions such as; do I struggle to open up about my feelings? Do I find it hard to say sorry? Do I let the other person do all the work? Do I find it hard to let things go? If any of the answers to these questions are ‘yes’ then maybe it’s time to start doing some inwards reflection to help improve your dating skills.”
More on outfits for your dating resolutions:
- I asked my male friends what I should wear on a first date, and this is what they said
- Man-repelling outfits: everything you need to know if you’re a serial dater
- Winter date night outfits: All the style solutions you need to know for 2023
- All the first date outfits for your dating phase, beige flags forbidden
As a single person, this year is about working on me and where I’ve been going wrong – picking the wrong men, not being honest about my feelings, projecting my fantasies onto others… the list goes on.
But if you’re in a relationship, it’s still important to work on yourself as an individual as well as a partner. Dating resolutions aren’t just for the single gals.
All of this to say, on January 5th, the busiest day for dating app downloads, we took to Instagram to ask all of you what your dating resolutions are for 2023.
The results were wonderful and funny, pessimistic and hopeful, but overall, these dating resolutions came with an underlying feeling of excitement for what’s to come. Whether it’s trying to spice things up with your partner, to do more dating and take it less seriously, or just to delete dating apps completely – the exciting buzz of the unknown lingers in the air in the new year whether we like it or not so why not embrace it now, before we inevitably fall back into old ways (but not this year I swear).
Resolution 1: Date night with my partner at least every two weeks and dressing up is mandatory to keep it spicy
I love this for you! Dressing up is so much fun and it doesn’t have to be restricted to what’s on the outside. I think a classic little black dress is perfect for more dressed up dates, and add the season’s must-have knee high boots for some extra sex appeal.
Even if you aren’t going on a fancy date that requires you to get dolled up, make sure you wear some sexy undies and let your partner know there is something exciting waiting for them underneath… but they can’t see until the end of the date hehe.
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Resolution 2: Try to spend less on dating and go on more low-key dates
Low key dates are just as fun as fancy ones. I’m a big fan of a pub, a gallery or even just a stroll around a cute neighbourhood with a warm coffee and a hot man. These also give you an opportunity to showcase how you dress in a more casual setting whilst still keeping things cute. Jeans and a nice top never fail.
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Resolution 3: Stop recycling the same men. We need some fresh meat!
WHERE ARE THEY THOUGH? Please stop recycling men, this is a very good dating resolution. Instead, how about recycling clothes? Getting dressed up for dates can get expensive if you’re like me and always want something new to make you feel extra special. Rental platforms or even buying fun pre-loved pieces from platforms like Depop and Vinted can keep costs low whilst still spicing up your wardrobe.
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Resolution 4: Stop getting too drunk on dates
Did anyone ever watch Millionaire Matchmaker? That woman is questionable but I always remember her two-drink-maximum rule for new dates. I think two is a little low personally, but if you’re hitting a bar, pub or dinner be sure to set yourself a limit.
Or girly, put down the vino and pick up the popcorn on a cosy movie date (or see above for other low key date ideas). Cinema dates are great for kissing and you can dress comfy too – a win!
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Resolution 5: Dating LOTS… but without lots of money for different outfits
I also plan on going on lots of lovely dates for the foreseeable, but don’t forget, it’s about quality not quantity! These dating resolutions apply to your wardrobe too, so look to focus on basics and classic pieces that work for date nights and beyond as well as pieces you can mix and match with existing pieces in your closet.
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Resolution 6: Date nice people instead of sexy douchebags
Wow – I feel seen. This year YOU be the sexy douchebag (but maybe less of the douchebag and more of the sexy). Sexy looks incoming…
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Resolution 7: No dating apps – end of story. Stay away from them all.
Dating apps can feel like the only option – do people even meet in real life these days? Well, the answer is yes, so if you have app fatigue, go ahead and press delete and go make uncomfortably-long eye contact with that sexy stranger on the tube. Who knows where it may lead? And hey, that’s the most fun part, isn’t it?
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